Deodat-O-Matic

Eumir Deodato: September 13
taken from: Prelude (CTI, 1972)

Eumir Deodato: Skyscrapers
taken from: Deodato 2 (CTI, 1973)

Eumir Deodato: Whirlwinds
taken from: Whirlwinds (MCA, 1974)

Brazilian-born arranger/composer, Eumir Deodato, was fucking golden during the 1970s. He was on a roll, and couldn't be touched. He released album upon album full of the kind of music that gets me hard. Part jazz, part funk, part pop, part cheese...all balls to the wall grooviness. Don't dismiss this stuff just because your hipster "jazz purist" dipshit of a boyfriend told you that it belongs in the same bin as Kenny G, because it doesn't. This is some raw headphone sex type shit, baby! Simply put those puppies on your head, and let it rape your mind.

"September 13" is a nice jazzy track with just enough funk added to get your head bobbing a bit. Before you know it the song is over, leaving you wanting more.

I was lucky enough to find a copy of Deodato 2 on vinyl at a Goodwill when I was in high school. Not that it's rare or anything, but back then I felt I had found the Holy Grail. It hasn't left my possession since. We'll have to wait and see about the whole eternal life thing, I guess. "Skyscrapers" would fit in perfectly on some cheesy 70s crime drama soundtrack. Think Starsky & Hutch type shit.

Finally, we move onto "Whirlwinds". It's 8 minutes of groovy cocaine-fueled jazz/funk jam. It keeps gaining momentum until you think your fucking nuts are going to fly off. Hold off on the Red Bulls while listening to this lest you want to have a stroke or possibly a heart attack. It would suck for your family to learn you were killed by Deodato. Trust me.